Married smart people, I want to split some atoms because I am sick of paying $4.00 a gallon for gas?

Oh, that. Well you gotta get you some uranium-666 and stuff (at least it's prolly 666, but who cares). Then you scrape off some of the isotope thingies and put it in your dog's spitty bowl of water. Stir it with a cinnamon stick to get the leftover neutrons off. Now pile up some of those pretty garden rocks, really high, around the dog bowl so you don't get yourself fried. Now take away the cinnamon stick and shoot the uranium junk with your ray gun and atoms will start busting up all over the place and you have power! HALLELUJAH!!! You're welcome :)